


Haikyuu Crack Fic

by Mha_edits



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Crack Crossover, Crack and Angst, Multi, Other, Randomness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:47:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27073720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mha_edits/pseuds/Mha_edits
Summary: This is a completely computer generated fic, so don’t expect any consistency. Enjoy being confused.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji & Kuroo Tetsurou, Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Bokuto Koutarou & Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	Haikyuu Crack Fic

Akaashi watched his husband ,Bokuto, take his last breath. He had been shot, and by FUCKING KUROO TETSURO!! Why, Kuroo was his best friend, why would he shoot Bokuto. Akaashi was sad, confused, and angry, it was an emotion he couldn't describe. "Akaashi Koutaro, we need you to leave now." Akaashi let out one more sob and got up, exiting the room and beginning his search for Kuroo. He needed to find out why his husband had been shot and he knew exactly where to start... inside of his bathroom. Having spent so much time in his son's room, Akaashi had an idea. He followed the hallway to his son's bathroom, right beside the door to his bedroom. He pushed the bathroom door open, landing right in front of his son's bathroom. He stared at his son's body laying in his own bathroom. The sight of his son's lifeless body aroused him, the sight of his son's body, the face of the boy who was so like his own, caused him to almost scream. "Gomu gomu, it's my son... my son, no!... I killed you my son!" Akaashi screams out to the walls of the room, motioning his gun at the walls of the room. After a few more seconds of searching for any action, he gave up. "At this point, I have nothing else left to do here." He removes the gun from his holster and closes the bathroom door. Just then, he hears Kuroo call his name from inside the bathroom. "What's that, I heard you." Akaashi pulls out the gun and finds Kuroo standing in the doorway, his face stitched in two. "Kuroo, what are you doing in my bathroom!" He walks towards the bathroom, his face covered in blood, standing right in front of Akaashi. The stitched-in-two Kuroo raised his gun and pointed at Akaashi. "Hahaha, you good kid, that's the look of someone who's no longer trying to get away." Akaashi took out his key ring and moves it inside the key ring. The key ring started to light up, and he realized he left his wallet inside the key ring. A smile creeps on his face. "Ah, oh you remember? You were sent to report to that room." Akaashi hands the key ring back to Kuroo. "Well it looks like you are that boy that killed me... that boy that tries to escape from me by shooting me." Kuroo darted back into the bathroom and threw his phone out of the bathroom. A few shots went off from inside the bathroom, and Akaashi watched his husband ,Bokuto, take his last breath. He had been shot, and by FUCKING KUROO TETSURO!! Why, Kuroo was his best friend, why would he shoot Bokuto. Akaashi was sad, confused, and angry, it was an emotion he couldn't describe. "Akaashi Koutaro, we need you to leave now." Akaashi let out one more sob and got up, exiting the room and beginning his search for Kuroo. He needed to find out why his husband had been shot and he knew exactly where to start... inside of his bathroom. Having spent so much time in his son's room, Akaashi had an idea. He followed the hallway to his son's bathroom, right beside the door to his bedroom. He pushed the bathroom door open, landing right in front of his son's bathroom. He stared at his son's body laying in his own bathroom. The sight of his son's lifeless body aroused him, the sight of his son's body, the face of the boy who was so like his own, caused him to almost scream. "Gomu gomu, it's my son... my son, no!... I killed you my son!" Akaashi screams out to the walls of the room, motioning his gun at the walls of the room. After a few more seconds of searching for any action, he gave up. "At this point, I have nothing else left to do here." He removes the gun from his holster and closes the bathroom door. Just then, he hears Kuroo call his name from inside the bathroom. "What's that, I heard you." Akaashi pulls out the gun and finds Kuroo standing in the doorway, his face stitched in two. "Kuroo, what are you doing in my bathroom!" He walks towards the bathroom, his face covered in blood, standing right in front of Akaashi. The stitched-in-two Kuroo raised his gun and pointed at Akaashi. "Hahaha, you good kid, that's the look of someone who's no longer trying to get away." Akaashi took out his key ring and moves it inside the key ring. The key ring started to light up, and he realized he left his wallet inside the key ring. A smile creeps on his face. "Ah, oh you remember? You were sent to report to that room." Akaashi hands the key ring back to Kuroo. "Well it looks like you are that boy that killed me... that boy that tries to escape from me by shooting me." Kuroo darted back into the bathroom and threw his phone out of the bathroom. A few shots went off from inside the bathroom, and the door opened. "It's done you got that." Kuroo looked at Akaashi's face, covered in blood. "Get the fuck out of my house, I'm going to get you and die." Akaashi grabs Kuroo's neck. "I'm gonna get that kid that killed me!" "Ya, you, you! Get the fuck out of my house!" "Where is this kid!" "Run, or I'm gonna shoot your ass." "Oh no I don't have any money!" Kuroo grab Akaashi's wrist, and pull him out of the house. A brief struggle and Akaashi drops his phone back in the key ring. Akaashi shakes his head at Kuroo. "But how? I know this place very well." "Ah, so do I." Kuroo grabs the key ring and jabs it into the lock of the bathroom door. Kuroo almost made it, but the bathroom door opened, and Kuroo looks up, only to see that the kid in front of him was not Kuroo's last target. "Lily?" Kuroo puts the key ring into the lock, while staring at the kid, who was shooting at Kuroo. "Stay calm, run." "Oh no no no!" "Who are you?" "Akaa Shi!" The kid jumped up. Kuroo could see him reaching for the gun. Kuroo scrunched his mouth. "No wait, hang on. We don't know who you are." "Akaa Shi! If you call me an idiot, I'll blow your fuckin' head off!" The kid sprinted off. Kuroo froze, because he did not want to shoot the kid. However, Kuroo had a better idea. He took out a letter from his pocket, and pointed it at the kid. "This is a letter, from Kuroo-kun! Follow me!" "Wait! What!?" "I gave you an envelope of Pekingese dog food, and told you not to give me the key ring!" The kid ran off, and Kuroo looked back. "Ok, see ya!" "Wait, what!?" Kuroo made a step toward the bathroom. The kid looked back, and the kid started running, and eventually, they collapsed in the bathroom. They crawled into the toilet and put a napkin over themselves to sleep. The next day, Kuroo wakes up, only to see that he has had a dream. This must be something other than sleep. Kuroo looked at the key ring in his hand, and saw it was an envelope, with a white paper slip. They weren't an animal, right? The envelope opened to reveal "From Kuroo-kun". "I want you to destroy everything that I write." "It's too late to tell me not to destroy you, ya know." The envelope closed. With a hoarse groan, Kuroo reached for the envelope. In the cave in the earth, the "dog food" envelope opened. Inside, it revealed "Minichukyou". He was transported back in time. Now, in history, the human he wished to protect was imprisoned in one of the infamous torture chambers. He immediately awoke, and saw the new timeline. He thought that the monster was dead, until he saw the time doppelganger leave. He jumped out of his bed and ran to the door. It slammed shut. He began to scream. He lay down. One of the traps he had set in his room began to open. The mirror. He grabbed it and brought it into his room. When it opened, he saw the girl inside. "Hey, Minichu" he yelled to her. "Oh...why do you have that?" she was surprised to see the middle aged man and brought her to the ground. "I think...it might be your fault" "Don't try to blame me!" This isn't right, Minichu." The trap was struck again, this time the door opened. Inside was a small room. The man and woman were inside. "Oh yeah, Kyoju" the man said with a smile. "I told you to open the door" "We made a mistake" said the woman. "What do you mean?" Kyoju asked. "Kyoju, I've seen all of your love letters, right?" "That's right" The lady asked "Where are they?" "They're behind the bookcase" Kyoju replied. "You mean you've been reading them?" the lady asked. "Yes" replied the man. "Can you read them?" "No, I've never read one before." "You must have opened the door and read them." "Yes, I tried, but they fell to the floor. They're not that old, anyway" the lady said. "Why?" The middle aged man asked, not surprised. "The scroll was written by a young master, in an unknown language. The scroll is intact, so it's likely it was opened by the door. It's possible we have a lost master, or that the scroll is the lost piece of knowledge of a lost civilization." Kyoju replied. "I believe the scroll was written in Roman. We seem to have a knowledge of Roman writing, so that's why I thought it might work. It is unlikely the scroll was written by a real master, but it's possible that the scroll is a piece of the lost wisdom of a lost civilization and the man, like you, never read one." The man said. "I had no idea, but I'm glad you're the first one to try" the middle aged man said "I must say, you get so excited when you do things you've never tried before." He laughed, as if he understood. "Well, let's start from the beginning, shall we?" the middle aged man said. "Ok." Kyoju nodded. He got the scroll, and read through the first few lines, pausing after a few minutes, but still keeping to the tempo of the scroll. He noticed the middle aged man let out a quiet sigh, and looked down at the ground... (To be continued)


End file.
